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Hospital Charts

Discussion in 'Humor' started by resha, Aug 9, 2015.


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    Actual writings on hospital charts:

    1. she has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband
    states she was very hot in bed last night.

    2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for
    over a year.

    3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third
    day it disappeared.

    4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also
    appears to be depressed.

    5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me
    in 1993.

    6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

    7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 years old male, mentally
    alert but forgetful.

    8. The patient refused autopsy.

    9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

    10. Patient has left white blood cells at another
    hospital.

    11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably
    insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past
    three days.

    12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for
    lunch.

    13. She is numb from her toes down.

    14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

    15. The skin was moist and dry.

    16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

    17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

    18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

    19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of
    her life, until she got a divorce.

    20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car
    for physical therapy.

    21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and
    accommodation.

    22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus
    sized.

    23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

    24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he
    took a job as a stock broker instead.

    25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

    26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

    27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt
    we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

    28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

    29. Patient has two teenage children, but no other
    abnormalities.
     
    resha, Aug 9, 2015


    #1

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